4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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