Sponge bath it is.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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