just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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