Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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