If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
