Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This baby is an asshole
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
