I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
