Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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