i don't like sucking hair
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you will always have a special place in my vag
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
