put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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