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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He keeps bees of course he's weird

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.

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