Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
