There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
