the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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