By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
