ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
