i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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