remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish i was in the wii world.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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