They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
