I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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