As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
