Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize