I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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