What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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