You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
ok first of all what the fuck
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
