In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was not drunk enough for that final.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
