I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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