plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
