Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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