You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
