I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my liver is dry heaving
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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