Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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