Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
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