Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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