if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
