i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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