Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
