My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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