Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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