did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
