these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
