just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
