u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
