His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize