I think I died a long time ago.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
