forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
