fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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