i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
