remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
