Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
