guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
