Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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