While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
