oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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