Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
