I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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