Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I need water and some morals
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
