just tell him i said nine months
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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