Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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