I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
