So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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