I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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