Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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