I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm at about main and main street
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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