At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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