walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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