We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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