I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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