I heard we made out
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
